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- Monday, September 28th, 2009
First dates are tricky and are even trickier if you’ve got the wrong entrée in front of you. Food plays an important role in a first date. Part of the fun is sampling each others dish. This vanilla ice cream is delicious, you should try it, doesn’t really sound good. Interested in some pointers? Get a load of this.
The breath- Anything that’s going to make your mouth stink is out. Sorry, garlic and onions, you’re not invited to this date. You may not mind the smell of garlic and onions on food, but once they get broken down in your stomach and mix with the acids, it’s not a very pleasant scenario. No kiss for you, my friend.
The teeth- Spinach, corn and seeds have a way of making their presence felt 9and seen) and their insistence to stay the night apparent- in between your teeth and on your tooth enamel. It’s distracting and you’ll have this internal battle whether to use your fingernails or knife to get them out. If you give in to the urge, you’ll come off sloppy and gross.
The gas- if the entire restaurant is filled with an unfortunate smell and you’re the one having the beans, you know you’ve just been judged. Actually, any member of the cabbage family can also be the culprit. Avoid broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts.
The Spice- Let’s break it down. One, if you can’t handle the heat, you’re a sissy. Two, if you force yourself to out-spicee your date, you’ll have what we call the spice sweats. Not very attractive and no way is she gonna plant one on your dripping face. Three, if you’ve really had too much, you might not get to any base at all because you have diarrhea.
The mess- Spaghetti, ribs, Buffalo wings, and soup are not the neatest things to eat. If you’re not a master forker, you’ll get spaghetti sauce all over yourself. Ribs and wings will get sauce all over your mouth and chin. That’s adorable to some, but better not risk it on the first date. And soup? No one looks smooth and cute slouching over and slurping.
The crack- Lobster is a good way to prove that you’re big spender. But if you can’t crack it open the first time, chances are you’ll get nervous on the second attempt because you don’t wanna look like a total sissy. It’s just a downward spiral from then on.
The calories- Salad is not a main course. Chicks wouldn’t wanna date a guy who’s got more weight issues than them. And, of course, they wouldn’t feel comfortable ordering a real dish if you got salad. Have a guy’s meal, for your own sake.
The familiar- At a fancy restaurant, you have to get something that’s not “regular”. Chicken fingers and fish sticks are hust so unadventurous Vanilla ice cream for dessert? Boring. Be someone who’s not afraid to try different things. That way, ladies will think there’s more to you. And did you know that your ice cream choice actually says a lot about how you are in bed?
The kid’s menu- No woman wants to be with a man-child. Kiddie meals, child-size servings, and milk are off limits. Milk is the worst thing to drink are off limits. Milk is the worst thing to drink on the first date, even if your dessert calls for it. A man never drinks milk in public.
The cheap- It just isn’t right to have Mc Donalds burger and fries on a first date. What girl in her right mind will go out on a second date with a dude whose idea of fine dining is a Big Mac?